Adieu, Adieu

It’s going to be pretty busy around here for the next two days, so I may not post again until Monday. The big, immediate project: I’m transcribing tape and working on a piece for Tennis on the alternately inspiring and sad saga of tennis in a war zone - specifically, Baghdad.

Haider Abbud, an Iraqi-born tennis nut and political/cultural advisor to the Iraqi government (as well as a former Nationals level USTA Leagues competitor in the 4.0 division) has a moving story to tell about the resilience and spirit of the Iraqi people and the court they helped him build inside the Green Zone. You can check out previous posts on this subject, starting with A Moment of Silence, Please. . .

Meanwhile, I’ll create a new entry before I leave today, where you can all gather and ponder the verities as the weekend telecasts are beamed throughout TennisWorld.

I’ve been thinking about this on-court coaching experiment the WTA is about to embark upon, and I flat out think it stinks. I’m pretty much march in lock-step with L. Jon on this one. No amount of spin or hype about “growing the game” (does it every occur to Larry Scott that he may be growing the game right out of its identity, which has served it pretty well so far?) or tangential buzz about a new cast of characters and new set of intrigues can overcome the fact that with on-court coaching, the rich will get richer while the absolute grandeur of individual performance will be diluted - if not altogether lost.

Contemplate this scenario. Anastasia Myskina is serving Serena Williams off the court in the final of the Kool-Aid Classic; she’s just won the first set 6-4. On the next changeover, Serena asks her courtside coach (Nick Bollettieri?) what to do. (Myskina, meanwhile, takes a sip of water, nudges Jens Gerlach awake, and they start making out).

Bollettieri, miked for ESPN, whispers: “Serena darling. Stop trying to attack that second serve. Play from two steps behind the baseline and go crosscourt with the return to set up your forehand.”

Okay, Serena does it. She storms back to take the next two sets, 7-6, 7-5. So play television producer for a moment. Who is it that you want for your first post-match sound bite (hint: who do the sideline reporters jog along with at the end of the first half in a football game, the offensive tackle or the head coach?).

This idea absolutely undermines the one truly great thing tennis has going for it: the integrity of the individual, and the way he or she is able to respond to the challenge of a rival, as well as the inherent stress of competition. That’s the main reason that most fans watch tennis, and the ability to perform admirably under stress is still No. 1 in the book of tennis virtues.

Great. We can now look forward to Yuri Sharapova getting as much face time on a tennis telecast as his daughter, Maria, or whomever she is playing. And if that opponent is ranked low enough, we might even get a brief shot of her coach, an off-duty ball boy recruited just so Maria’s poor victim doesn’t feel utterly alone out there while Yuri and Maria keep fist-pumping and shrieking “Vamos!” at each other.

This idea stinks. Period. The WTA would be far better served enforcing the rules prohibiting coaching from the stands, the continued, flagrant violation of which is a sad, cruel joke. The solution is easy. Force the coaches and parents to sit together. Aw, hell. Just round up and shoot the sons of *&&^))@ and get on with the game.

On another front, there’s been some debate here about the nature of our evolving – and growing – TennisWorld community, as well topics like required registration, etc. We are still in the process of choosing new blog software, and we're getting valuable input from readers on the entire “to register or not to register” debate. Please be patient, we’re working out a game plan on this, even though we won’t be able to implement it immediately.

As far as the “community” goes, there’s always a certain amount of turnover at a site like this; I noticed long before this conversation got started that people often drop in, get all fired up to be part of TW, and then move on, for any number of reasons. I think we have a great mix of tennis nuts and fans of the human comedy – people who like to observe humanity in all its glory and absurdity through the whacky prism of tennis and the flesh puppets who play it so well. I like both groups equally. I think we have a great mix.

I hope to pull that Man or Metrosexual? post off the back burner next week some time. Meanwhile, would you like to submit questions for the quiz, in which we’ll try to score someone’s MQ (Metrosexual quotient) in the objective, scientific way that is the trademark of all things TennisWorld?

I’m leaning toward multiple choice, kind of like:

Your favorite newspaper is:

1 – The New York Times
2 – Minnesota Hunting, Fishing, and Trapping
3 – Computer Shopper
4 – You never read newspapers, because the ink comes off on your fingertips

Or:

The last movie that made you cry was:

1 – Old Yeller
2 – Rudy
3 – Terminator III
4 – The Devil Wears Prada

You get the idea. Later.