The Deuce Club, 1.8

By Jackie, TW Social Director

Hi, TWibe! The tennis season is officially underway; nothing quite like have three simultaneous streams going while also writing the Deuce Club to really get that sympathetic nervous system going! As is always the case, though, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm hoping this means our Facebook group, TennisWorld > Real World, will receive a bit more traffic. Let's keep the activity level high there, yeah? And of course, if you haven't already joined, please consider doing so.

Though we're already into the first week of January, I'm still hanging on to the holidays. It hasn't been difficult, as every conversation I've had of late has centered on holiday festivities - including those with Pete.

He and I were chatting over IM the other day, and he told me that he and Cowboy Luke invented a new "sport" over the holidays. Of course, I wanted details (maybe because it sounded semi-bogus - ha!) so I suggested he write to me about it. This is what he sent:

Hey everyone. I elbowed my way in glamorous Jackie-Oh's domain today to say hi. I didn't get much of a chance to drop in over the holidays, although I surfed the posts and comments. Sometimes, I really like to step back and enjoy TennisWorld the way most of you do. Lurking has its rewards for someone like me.

Anyway, we spent a nice, long, four-day weekend at the farm over New Year's, and Luke and I refined the sport we invented. We call it "snowspeeding", partly because at the beginning of the second movie in the original Star Wars trilogy, The**Empire Strikes Back, the rebel forces fight the empire's massive "Snow Walkers" with "Snowspeeders." Anyway, snowspeeding is like water- skiing or tubing behind a powerboat. I took an ice fishermen's ice sled and rigged it up so I could tow it on a nylon line behind my Bombardier ATV (four-wheel drive is a must).

When my wife Lisa got wind of this project, she blew a gasket. But the men in the family out-voted her (heh-heh), and before long we were snowspeeding around the hayfields and various trails and road, making big, lazy figure 8s or roller-coastering up and down swales. Okay, so I ran Luke into some briars on a particularly tricky turn. He was a little upset about that, but the injuries were minimal and he was okay with it when I explained that we were still feeling our way in this new sport - checking things like our optimal turning radius, downhill speed, etc. etc. etc. Actually, we weren't going that fast and it was as good a time as any for him to learn that sometimes, bailing out is the better part of valor. BTW, this picture above makes it seem like a mighty short tow rope, but it's just the foreshortening. Even I'm not dumb enough to run too short a tether.

By Day 2, we'd convinced Lisa to try it, too. So she got in with Luke and you can see the result on the right. They had a fine time, although Lisa's still not totally with the program. We've been meaning to take Luke skiing, and most certainly will before this winter is out; but even that short 40-minute drive to Belleayre, a fine little ski area near us, seems like such a big effort (never mind the expense and logistics of ski rentals etc.) when we can just walk out the door and be snowspeeding in a few moments.

Ironically, the worst accident of the weekend happened when Lisa and Luke did some conventional sledding down the berm of the new pond. It's a short but very steep pitch with a nice long runout, but all the rocks and disturbed earth hasn't really settled yet. Halfway down one run, they flipped the sled and went tumbling. Luke whacked his knee on a rock and drew blood, so that was it for the "safe" sport of sledding.

Anyway, there's my account of our new sport. Did any of you go skiing or indulge in any other exciting activity over the past few weeks?  This officially ends TW's holiday preoccupations, although we will have our poetry contest next week - it will be linked to the upcoming Australian Open, so IM or text your muse - he or she will be needed soon! Over to you, Jackie-Oh.

Jackie here. Pete, feel free to elbow your way in the DC anytime!

Pete's story reminded me about my own childhood; sure, I never did any snowspeeding, but my sister Elizabeth and I would spend hours in the snow making snowballs, snowmen, snow angels ... snow anythings! This winter was a different story, as I tried my best to stay out of the snow. I'll just gaze at the Winter Wonderland from the heated indoors, thank you very much.

Still, I was looking forward to a few snowfalls during the holidays, considering that Elizabeth was visiting (she resides in New York) and I thought we could recreate those precious winter moments. 'Twas not to be - the weather didn't cooperate and we preferred to be wimpy homebodies - but I still enjoyed the time I spent with her. In fact, it's what I'll remember most about the holidays.

Every night, she and I would plop down in front of my laptop and watch episodes of I Love Lucy on DVD (a Christmas gift from both of my sisters, naturally). No viewing session was complete without a snack, of course - spelt pretzels and pomegranate IZZEs were our treats of choice. Lucy as a "quick-frozen redhead," shilling "Vitameatavegamin" ("Do you poop out at parties? Are you unpopular?"), baking the world's longest loaf of bread, giving Ricky the scalp treatment from hail ... is there anything more side-splitting?

Of course, that's not all we did together, but I won't bore you with the rest.

Aside from bonding with my sister, I spent the holidays catching up with friends - and on sleep! - and eating, eating, eating. Believe me, those spelt pretzels were only the tip of the iceberg. Seems there's just no avoiding the CHWGS, or Chronic Holiday Weight Gain Syndrome.

I also attended a wedding with my friend Greg; his old college roommate was tying the knot, and he asked me to be his date. I was happy to oblige, since it meant getting gussied up and dancing up a storm. (For all the fashionistas out there: I wore a forest green, knee-length jersey dress, with a keyhole opening in the front and a wide black patent leather belt; patterned black tights; and 4-inch black velvet pumps. One of the only times I'll ever do justice to that "glamorous" description - thanks, Pete.)

The wedding was a whopping two hours drive from home, so getting there was a pain because it was raining cats and dogs. (A harbinger of doom for the newlyweds? I hope not.) I had a nice time, though, and the reception - well, cutting a rug - was the best part. It was especially fun to surprise everyone with my performance of the Ludacris rap in Usher's "Yeah," replete with choreography. You should've seen their faces ... though I'd rather not see my face in any photos of that display. That's just screaming for a good Photoshop job.

So I guess I proved Pete wrong - his story wasn't the end of the our TW holiday preoccupations. Oops! But now that we're this far gone, we might as well go all the way, right? So now it's time for you to share some of your holiday stories. I'll reiterate Pete's question above: Did any of you go skiing or indulge in any other exciting activity? Do you even like winter sports? What will you remember most about the holiday season?

Have at it!