The QUB
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[[It's been a while since the TWibe had a proper Sunday Brunch, and we owe this one to long-time TW hand Jay, who's capable of many things, although remembering where he parked his care at Cincinnati Masters is not one of them (as I learned, firsthand, last summer) . Enjoy, and stay on topic until the well of Lindsay intel is exhausted - Pete]]
by TW Contributing Writer, Jay Clark***
"Lindsay Davenport Knocked Up and Out of the Australian Open." Did anyone see this borderline vulgar headline yesterday?
Me neither, because I just made it up. Clever or class-less? Cast your vote below. Or perhaps on that Celebrity Baby Blog. Google it. Did anyone know there was one? Isn't that sad?
According to the real news headlines, Lindsay is "thrilled" by this "unexpected" embryonic surprise, but those hoping to see her play in 2009—me included—are not. Oh Lindsay, why'd you have to go and…never mind. But you know what I'm talking about, y'all. I wanted to see L-Dizzle keep her tennis skizzle on for just one more year. One more year! One more year!
Maybe I'm not ready for another WTA Tour stalwart to retire. GlaxoSmithKline doesn't make a pill what ails me, and the recent, although long-time-coming, retirement of one of tennis' other classy dames, Monica Seles, left me with a hole in the bottom of my blackened heart. Especially after she bombed so badly on Dancing with the Stars, to the point where I was second-hand uncomfortable.
Pink frou-frou dress. Awkward flower scene. Colbie Caillat. Make it stop!
Monica was the undisputed Queen of Unfinished Business, and my heart will forever make like Leona Lewis and bleed love (and soot) for her and the injustices she endured. Lindsay, of course, was First Runner-Up to the QUB throne, my last hope for redemption. When I found out Monica could not fulfill her duties, her destiny, I turned to Lindsay to reclaim the slams she coulda woulda shoulda won in '05 at the Aussie Open and Wimbledon. But it was not to be. Nevermore, quoth that fickle freaking raven.
I truly believe Davenport would have had a different 2008 had she not run into a version of Maria Sharapova programmed to play the best tennis of her life at the Australian Open almost a year ago. At the time, Lindsay had all the tier III momentum a Tier I athlete could ask for, and a lengthy quarter/semi-run through a rusty-looking WTA draw (is there any other kind?) looked promising. Then she was sharapo-llacked.
No doubt about it, that match did a lot to Lindsay's confidence for the remainder of the season. After all, her entire purpose for coming back was built around the premise of snagging herself one more slam. To be obliterated in the second round of her first slam back since childbirth; well, you can forgive her for being a little listless for the remainder of the spring. And no, I'm not counting that win in Miami over the perma-vulnerable Ana Ivanovic.
Lindsay is a player who thrived on consistency, match play, small victories. They aid a mind already predisposed to low (tennis-related) confidence; reassure her that she was among the sports' elite. She isn't built for the game like a Williams sister, blessed with the ability to come up with a slam out of nowhere, so her only hope is—and now we can change that "is" to "was"—a full-ish schedule.
I hope Lindsay proves everyone wrong, my own annoying self included, and comes back again better than ever. Highly unlikely, but maybe two-time motherhood will give her superhuman groundstroking powers, a new found purpose, or whatever— "whatever" being that something she has been missing since 2000.
I doubt she cares that much, though. Lindsay has more important things on her mind—a mind now brimming with confidence and fully equipped for life beyond the game.